Bs1234 Jessica Simpson

I thought I would write a follow-up to my column, Move Over San Miguel de Allende Here I Come, since this is the only thing, writing, that prevents from committing murderous acts of rage (Just Joking!) As you recall from the previous column, I wrote how I tried to deposit a royalty check from my publisher and was told the check would clear on four different dates. We were shown, last week, on their computer screen that the funds would be available on the 18th of December.

Well, today is the 18th. We marched down to the bank and, of course, in the truest sense of TMO (Typical Mexican Operation) the funds were not available. We went into the bank so I could seize a bank officer and choke him (just kidding!). No, we talked to this guy who thought it cute to mumble at us. He actually told us something entirely new.

He said that the 18th did not really mean the 18th but it meant sometime after 6 p.m. on the 18th but before mid-night on the 18th andandmaybe even the 19th.

CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?

This my dear readers is what we extreme anal sex-retentive Americans (and strung-tighter-than-piano wire Germans) have to deal with when we become expatriates living in Mexico. It would seem, and I could be wrong, that Mexican banks just make up stuff as they go along. There are no policy manuals, procedural steps, no rules, just the fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants way of doing things.

Qu Ser, Ser: What ever will be, will be. The futures not ours to see. Qu Ser, Ser.

This is exactly how things are done in central Mxico. I have to tell you though, those from other regions of the country are as dumbfounded as I am. They tell me that this region of Mexico is stuck in time and history. They are provincial to the point of having been throw into a time loop and cannot escape the temporal hole theyve been in since the middle ages. Time forgot central Mexico and no one seems to really care to crawl out of this dimensional morass in which they are quagmired.

What are we going to do?

I do not know. But, we are looking to other areas of Mexico that may not be like living in a Latino Twilight Zone.

My fellow American expat said this:

That what Mexico needs is a Business Manager. These people need a Business Manager in everything that has to do with anything to show them how things work. This is because in all aspects of life, at least in Guanajuato, no one who does anything that has to do with something knows just how it is suppose to work.

She has no idea what truth she spoke!

Doug Bower is a freelance writer and book author. His most recent writing credits include The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, The Houston Chronicle, The Philadelphia Inquirer, Associated Content, Transitions Abroad, International Living, Escape Artist, and The Front Porch Syndicate.

He is founder of Mexican Living Print & eBooks.